“It is through awareness of My Presence that Peace displaces negative feelings.” Doesn’t it seem like this is an ever present battle of the mind? It is in mine at least. I want to break this down and chew on it so it will soak deeper into my membrane and maybe become a healthier habit than I have had. What I read is that my God will take my ever self-darkening clouds and sear a burst of sun through them. He will take my self-doubt, my fears for my children and my family, my disappointment and my sorrow and he will break them apart like a laser to cellulite, until they no longer exist. IF I AM AWARE OF HIM. How do I always forget this?? I know it like I know my real hair color, maybe better…I am such a fallen soul. I am no better than the children of God in the desert for 40 years, consistently forgetting what makes me the best version of myself. For goodness sakes Roxxy, be aware! This weekend my wonderful, beautiful daughter scared the begebbers out of some cousins (and her momma). She was standing behind a door and one of them tried to open it and likely just tapped her with the door. She went down on the ground and stopped responding to them completely. I had been checking on her every 10 mins or so and went in to see how they were doing. These poor little children. The little girl was a bawling mess and the boys were wide-eyed and scared, I could see it on their faces when I walked in. I immediately went to the little girl to console her and ask her what was wrong…I hadn’t seen my daughter yet behind the door on the floor. The boy said they had hit her with the door and she wasn’t moving. My heart went into my throat. I kept myself calm so as not to scare the children and slowly picked E up while whispering in her ear. Her head rolled in my arms and I was stricken. I carried her out to the hallway and told her I was going to throw her in the cold pool if she didn’t open her eyes. Her eyes fluttered and opened. My heart told me what she was doing before my head realized it, she was re-enacting what she had seen when I grabbed Otto. My daughter has PTSD. There are many things that could be happening for her to want to behave this way…it isn’t wise for me to put that all here. But, I will be contacting her counselor this week to know how to help her the next time it happens. This Peace that I had initially discussed here? This is what I must rely on when these things happen. When I am constantly scared for the little lives of my babies. It’s hard to drive without constantly looking in the rear view to make sure they are alright. I am constantly seeing the worst possible scenarios in my head, with full visuals because I have had the unfortunate occurance of having lived through one. This stuff is tough. But my God is tougher. He is strong, reliable and loves me. He will protect us, I know he will. And these fears, these negative feelings, will be displaced with Peace when I allow myself to be aware of him. Thank you Jesus.