Ok. I need a time out.

Oh my gosh I am struggling today!  I have been forgetting everything..and I mean everything.  I forgot my daughter didn’t have school today, I forgot she had gymnastics yesterday…I may have a little depression happening as I want to cry because I have been wholly unsuccessful at hanging the floating shelves in the playroom. Blah. Nothing fun or witty about that. I realize in this moment that I completely need my Lord & savior.  I could run myself up a wall and back down without any peace of spirit, goodness! I don’t know how anyone does it without God!  I feel like this entire day has been me in my head getting deeper and darker inside myself, not wanting to talk about Otto or think about Otto.  Of course, that means that is all I can think about.  It feels like a challenge from God…his hand reaching out knowing my heart and just waiting for me to look up and take it.  And, when i finally do I am flooded with relief…without every step being constantly in step with my heavenly father I feel so weak and helpless.  My normally solid and productive actions are more like a tasmanian devil just swirling and swirling and creating chaos with every action. Dear God, thank you so so very much for being inside of my heart and soul! For putting people in my life who have given me the devotional that I gain fortitude from daily. “When you trust Me in the midst of trouble, Peace flourishes and weeds die away.” Already they are…but, imagine if i didn’t have God as I deal with this? If I didn’t trust him completely? Just in the short moments that I forget I feel the weeds choking away my light..oh how worse this struggle would be without him. I might be leaving the shelf for a more talented craftsman than myself, but now at least I can breath. Don’t forget who gives you strength Ms. Roxxy.