Ohhhh my Otto

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Today I am blue…wouldn’t Otto love that!  He would want to know where I was blue since it is his favorite color.  That’s an odd saying, but I truly feel it, laying like a heavy curtain over my whole body & on my soul.  It’s an absolutely beautiful spring day but I drowned myself in that I had to start my day out with an email to all of our customers explaining why I had been completely out of pocket for the last month or more.  Yuck. Another thing Otto loved..the word “yucky”.  We would say it to him over and over again to make him laugh…elongating the “yu” forever. I am pretty sure I have videos and pictures of us doing that even. So much fun we had. Then I had a dentist appt and learned in telling just the base line of my story that both my dentist and the assistant had lost siblings at young ages.  Again YUCK!  I cried for them, for me, for Otto.  I have pretty much continued crying on and off all day since then.  It feels good and bad to hear the loss of others…it helps to know that others out there are like me in that we carry a tale of suffering, but then I am so sad for their loss and then for my own.  I think this has made my heart grow a thousand percent in my compassion and empathy towards others…almost to the point I can barely stand it.  The news makes me cry almost every night.  Oh my.  I also have a conversation with J that makes me very aware of how differently we grieve, but I don’t think it divides us…just makes me appreciate our differences.  Let’s have a new and beautiful day tomorrow, thank you Jesus.

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