Not pregnant and spinning.

Oh my goodness…so this is a combination of having somehow missed my last two therapy sessions, having all the busy party stuff over and then finding out I am not pregnant all swirling together.  I am a mess. I have no interested in combing my hair.  I dress the girls …

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Thank you

This weekend is a celebration of love and life and will all be aligned with keeping our memories of Otto. I don’t know how I feel.  That’s probably a bad thing if you ask my therapist. The pain doesn’t lessen, i just have more callouses over it.  The surrealism around …

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Rollercoaster

As I try to spend my days devoted to loving honestly and deeply, I can see myself going up and down in an emotional rollercoaster.  I think about the things I am doing wrong, and maybe those sometimes I am doing right…I am questioning my parenting skills and worrying.  It’s …

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That was my child

“Does it make you cry when I mention Otto?” my 7 year old nephew asked me this afternoon.  I am always strong in my answers to these kind of questions.  I reply “not all the time, sometimes I do cry, but right now I am ok.” I feel like I …

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Displacing Negative Feelings

“It is through awareness of My Presence that Peace displaces negative feelings.”  Doesn’t it seem like this is an ever present battle of the mind?  It is in mine at least.  I want to break this down and chew on it so it will soak deeper into my membrane and …

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Memories of Otto

I haven’t been on here to post in almost  a month.  A dear friend pointed out it was 4/20. That was two months to the day since Otto passed.  We’ve gone to London and back, had company in town & all of our fun and busy activities are winding down. …

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Let th oceans roar and the mountains tremble

The girls and I have so much to do today.  Elle has play therapy at 11, we have a play date at 1230 and acting at 430.  Then, once J gets home we have dinner plans with one of the amazing women who have befriended me from BBMs. (Building Better …

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The Dogwood Tree

The legend of the dogwood tree, author unknown, is as follows: In Jesus’ time, the dogwood grew To a stately size and a lovely hue. ‘Twas strong and firm, its branches interwoven. For the cross of Christ its timbers were chosen. Seeing the distress at this use of their wood …

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I don’t want to do this right now.

Today is Feb 9th, our K-1’s have to be done in the next couple of days so we can do our personal taxes by next Wednesday.  I have been on it!  Just one more item to check on the QB file and then on to the next QB file, lol. …

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Days Apart

I haven’t written my thoughts and feelings in days.  It certainly isn’t that I haven’t had any…its so much more that Easter was hard.  Of course it was and I knew it would be, everyone knew it would be.  I was a total stuffer. I stuffed all of those really …

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